What's up folks!
Since my last post on overcoming procrastination, one lament that has come up time and time again is - "Coach, I suck at discipline. Just do it; just does not work for me. I want the results - lose weight/get great abs, meditate daily, enjoy extra income - but it is hard for me to keep working at it regularly!"
This is easily fixed. Look for place in your daily grind where your daily practice will fit in easily. Research shows that it is easier to create a habit when we do it about the same time each day. First thing in the morning is always recommended but you can be flexible about that. For eg. Wake up, bathroom, brush teeth, meditate for 15mins. Or, get a gym buddy to call you half hour before picking you up from work. Even if you are really tired or it is really cold out there, you won't say no to the buddy waiting below your office. Start small and work your way up. The trick is to keep up with small increments till you reach the tipping point.
The tipping point for each person is different. How much time or money you need to put in, in order to reach that tipping point is unique to every quest or desire. Too often we might give up just when the scales would have tipped to show the change we were aspiring for. "There is no shortage of time or money" - that is a mindset change I ask my clients with goals to affirm to themselves each morning. When we remove barriers from our mind about time and money - anything is achievable.
So keep with it. Remember to Integrate your goals into your daily grind. Find some way to be held accountable for it. The rest will follow. I am interested in knowing how you do!
I know you all have that friend who could benefit from this advice. Forward it. Like if you found it useful.
The rush of achievement is heady and profitable. But even with coaching, I find many of my clients struggle to keep on track. Considering the cost of procrastination high especially when it concerns relationships, job, taxes or health; I decided to explore the common reasons why we put off doing important things. As always, I try to frame things in a kind, more mindful way. Bringing about change in ourselves by understanding rather than reprimand is a great way to effect successful life-long positive habit formation. In no particular order, they are:
When procrastination hits, pull up this sheet and see what’s holding you back. Ask yourself gently, which of these apply and follow the tips to overcome it. I cannot guarantee the end of procrastination, but at least now you have a solid tool to use when it rears it’s ugly head. Please feel free to add to the list in the comments below or shoot me an email if I can help. Remember to frame your contributions positively.
Vishen Lakhiani is the founder of Mindvalley, the education company behind many of the world's top apps, festivals, events, courses and more, in the field of human transformation and personal growth.
In 1990, Dr. Edwin Locke and Dr. Gary Latham published their first goal setting theory book, titled, “A Theory of Goal Setting and Task Performance.” Boring title...I agree. So I am going to break it down for you. They outlined five principles for successful goal setting so people can achieve their dreams.
Yes. You've heard it all before. What's new..yawn.
The video above is! Vishen has an innovative approach to goal setting. He says many people find themselves disillusioned because they are setting "means" goals. Goals that society thinks you need to have in place to be happy. We need to set "end" or "life" goals. Goals that appeal uniquely to each one of us. All life goals fall into three buckets:
You can download the PDF for the video exercise here. You need a timer. 90 secs per question. The timer shuts down your logical brain and allows the answers to flow from your creative brain. Your inner self. Try it.
It changed my view of goal settting. I can tell you I have been goal setting for a long time and am pretty successful at it. This time though, I felt the beauty and the passion of the goals. I could see them clearly in my mind's eye and am excited to rework my current means goals into those end or life goal categories.
I wish you the same passion! If you need my help you know where to find me.
Ok. That video had some rated language. But Will Smith is right on the money! We moan and lament and day-dream and blame. But rarely do we take decisive action. Even rarer is goal-oriented action.
The person who we want to become is defined by the people we spend time with - TODAY; the books we are going to read - TODAY and the actions we are are going to take - TODAY.
With persistence we all can achieve greatness. If you want to reap the benefits of action NOW; enter you email for a worksheet that will help you off to a running start! Better still get in touch with me if you are serious about being motivated to unlock your full potential to achieve better health, greater success, more money, better relationships and more time to do what you love. Enough said.
Are you tired, stressed, numb from living life, have a dead-end job/business, searching for a mate, rearing children, chasing better health or just trying to be happy?
If you answered yes to one or more of these, it may be likely that you are trying to please someone other than yourself.
Why you do this could be rooted in the fact that as cavemen we had to be pack animals and needed to feel accepted by the herd, for survival. Or in childhood we felt a sense of safety (or lack thereof) with approval from our parents. We mistake this for love and the fear of not being able to please others becomes huge.
If we knew what made us happy we would be directly motivated to do those things. But not having a healthy sense of self makes us prone to pleasing others to get validation and hence seek indirect motivation.
When we become parents, we pass this fear on to our kids unknowingly, and thus the cycle continues.
Break out of the cycle! Work at self-esteem in these 7 areas.
These seven areas are a practice. Working on these consistently, over time, will build self-esteem and self worth. When you value yourself, you will make good decisions and have the courage and motivation to move away from bad ones. You will not put up with toxic or vacuous people. Your healthy sense of self will attract abundance to you in health, love, wealth and life.
If you need a road-map or extra direction in building your healthy sense of self, don't hesitate to get in touch with me (send email here).
With love as always,
Let me set the stage for two scenes.
Scene 1: The dinner table is laden with food. Mum's getting the roast out of the oven. She's yelling for someone to help. Dad has poured himself yet another whiskey. Sister is draped over the arm of the latest has-been and shouts at you to go help. You came alone and don't have anyone to entertain anyway. Brother laughs and tells a funny story about a childhood exploit involving you two and he was victor (of course). Funny to everyone except you, that is. Some dubious guest whose name you didn't quite catch is droning away about her job. Her bratty 6 year old is taking sly potshots at your ear with a sling toy. The decor is garish, the music is tinny, the wine cheap. You wish you could be anywhere but here. But would die of guilt for ditching the "family" on "(insert holiday here) Day"!
Scene 2: You wake up at 6am, as usual. Hmm..no newspaper, put the coffee machine on, put food in the dog bowl, switch on the TV for the news while you get ready to walk the dog. Realize it is "(insert holiday here) Day"! Oh no! Your mind immediately goes back to yester-years. Your unhappiness with the new boss, the crazy divorce, the friends who had to choose sides, the teenage kids who want, want, want from you and then disappear once they get 'it'. Few family and a dwindling set of boozy friends sending you pity invites. You decline with some feeble excuse. Your feelings are too raw to deal with probing questions. Now what? The holiday stretches ahead like an endless tunnel. Isn't everyone with family having a wonderful time like the ads on TV. You are a good person. You don't deserve this. Down the rabbit hole you go chasing one negative thought after another...
How to do Holidays like a Boss!!
Truly, once you decide to act rather than react to what life throws at you...the possibilities are endless.
Till the new year...be well!
This month I lost a third friend and mother of two young kids to breast cancer. This stat is too high for me. Know your risks for breast cancer.
Decisions about birth control, hormone replacement therapy and how often to have a mammogram are vital and must be made with your health care provider. If you are going to a health care provider that does not talk to you about prevention then it is time to consider changing your provider. Education is really important to help women and those who care, understand the questions they need to ask. While you can’t change some breast cancer risk factors – family history and aging, for example – the ones below you can control.
Diet: Saying "no thanks" to a tempting dessert could help reduce the risk of breast cancer by eating right. We do know that a lifetime exposure to estrogen is linked to breast cancer risk, and that fatty tissue produces estrogen. More the fat in a woman's body, more estrogen and higher insulin levels she is exposed to. Maintaining a healthy weight through proper diet and exercise may make all the difference.
Mammograms: Find out if you have dense breasts. This can make cancers harder to spot. You may need 3D mammography and other more sophisticated imaging technology.
HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy): Hormone therapy, whether for birth control, menopause or osteoporosis prevention, can also expose women to estrogen. Find out low dose birth control options and limit HRT use to no more than 5 years.
Some symptoms that should have you making a beeline to the doctor are:
Finding out that you are facing a possible breast cancer diagnosis or have breast cancer can make you feel overwhelmed, vulnerable, and alone. Suddenly having to learn about complex medical treatments and trying to choose the best one can also be stressful during this time. You can reach out to American Cancer Society's Reach To Recovery Program or trained volunteers for support. To get matched with a Reach To Recovery volunteer, call 1-800-227-2345.
Complementary and alternative therapies are used for preventing and treating disease. They have been used in other countries for centuries, but are not taught widely in medical schools in the United States. Complementary therapies may include exercise, prayer, nutrition, homeopathy, acupuncture, Qigong, massage, Reiki, and chiropractic care. Currently, prominent cancer treatment centers like Dana Farber, Brigham & Women's and Children's Hospital Boston are recognizing and offering Reiki and other integrative therapies alongside traditional medicine/therapy to maximize care and minimize/ease recovery time with no contraindications.
Reiki is a non-invasive therapy used for a variety of health purposes primarily for treating pain, stress, and fatigue; for speeding recovery from surgery or cancer therapy; for improving memory and feelings of well being and for end-of-life care.
Note most complementary therapies are not paid for by insurance. Some insurances will cover acupuncture and chiropractic services. Reimbursement by third-party insurance carriers varies by state. Though most complementary therapies are reasonably priced.
Reliable cancer information sites: www.cancer.org, www.cancer.gov, www.cdc.gov.
Trending complementary therapy books:
Knowledge is power. Forewarned is forearmed and so on. Know your risks for breast cancer. Let us not lose more friends, mothers, women.
I do not have to earn love.
This post is dedicated to the memory of Louise Hay.
For most people, cultivating a healthy relationship with one's own self is a lifelong process. It can be daunting to suddenly wake up to the fact that you are living someone else’s life and it has slowly extinguished your passion. No? Not you...think again. The family business, a loved one's passion, your parents' unfulfilled desires, choice of career for the money, first job after school set you on an defined but not chosen career path, etc.
Louise Hay was one lady who firmly believed that all illness and unhappiness is a result of not being true to ourselves. I am not advocating everyone give their jobs a heave-ho and jump both feet first into the unknown. But making a plan and taking small baby steps towards it will help. You most probably will ask the inevitable question...what is my calling, what am I destined to do. Just start small, don't worry too much about getting it right. Persist without exception. Soon the path will get clearer. What's more, you will learn more about who you really are in a way your loved ones will never be able to. Improve your own daily self love practice – and lavish a little extra affection on the one person you'll always have on your side: You.
Some of Louise Hay's revolutionary thoughts that have helped transform the lives of millions are:
I tip my hat for a woman who remains a leader extraordinaire, role model and visionary!
Our experience of life is what we believe within. It is an out-picturing of our internal unspoken thoughts/hang-ups reflected in the world around us. So for instance, if we are constantly being presented with friends who take advantage of us or significant others that let us down - it means, that is exactly what we are feeling towards ourselves, deep within. Many a time this feeling of unworthiness or not being good enough shows up unconsciously or subconsciously by way of making harmful choices, self-sabotage, codependency, avoiding or numbing painful feelings, procrastinating or striving for perfection, keeping busy, distracted or detaching from reality.
The first step on the path of self acceptance is increased awareness. Eckhart Tolle in his book "The Power of Now" calls the world within us the PRIMARY REALITY and the world outside of us the SECONDARY REALITY. What the world around us reflects back to us via friends, family, significant others, health issues, triggers is the PRIMARY REALITY:
We just observe not engage. Embrace the positive with the negative observations. We are worthy of any positives and the negatives are just that. They are not you. Feel loving compassion for our struggles, our flaws, our strengths, our successes and what we have not yet accomplished. This does not mean seeking praise from others or tooting our own horn. It is a deep knowing that being the authentic me is enough to be loved.
Compassion and kindness for ourselves in it's own time will translate to compassion, love, forgiveness, trust and respect for all whom we interact with in a kind of inter-conectedness. Instead of fear we will have faith that lest we make a mistake, we will learn from it and grow. In time, we will learn the simple law of projection. Simply by changing what we overtly express or secretly repress; we can change our experience of the external world. We are the co-creators of the life we truly desire to live.
Till the next post! Cheryl.
The author is a Productivity & Mindset for Success Coach and Reiki Master. She combines coaching and energy work powerfully to help clients break through their biggest blocks to living abundantly, find lasting love, 10x their income, find spirituality and much more. She rejoices and is gratified by the feedback she receives when clients achieve their goals and is humbled by the confidence she witnesses as clients leave a healing session having broken through their toughest road-blocks to success.
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